How to feel present on your Wedding Day (instead of worrying about photos)
There's a potential version of your wedding day where you spend half of it in your own head - checking the timeline, watching the sky, wondering if you smiled right in that last shot. And there's another version where you're just... there. Fully in it. Laughing too loud, holding on a little longer, forgetting I'm even in the room. That second version is the one that produces the photos you'll actually want to look at in twenty years.
Here's what I've learned from photographing weddings in the North East of England and beyond: the couples who end up with the most alive, emotionally resonant images are the ones who are fully immersed and who let it all unfold.
The things that pull you out of the moment
It's rarely the big stuff that derails presence on a wedding day. It's the quieter worries that build up and can take you somewhere else entirely.
The weather becomes an obsession. Family politics creep in. The timeline starts to feel like something you're responsible for maintaining.
Whenever appropriate, I will always say the same thing: whatever the weather does, you'll have gorgeous photos. Whatever the family dynamic brings, you'll get through it. Your job on the day isn't to manage any of that. Your job is to be present with the person you're marrying.
That's it.
Choose a photographer whose style you wholeheartedly love
When planning your wedding and choosing your vendors, make sure you book the ones that fully align with your taste and your vision for your day. With your photographer, it’s so important you love their style of work - how they capture a wedding and how they edit their photos. If you love what they create, that brings an innate trust between you, as not only do you know you’re going to love the end product, but the photographer also knows that what they already do creatively, is exactly what you want. With trust, comes the ability for you to let go, and allow them to go and document your day to the best of their ability.
Stay close to each other
This is probably the most practical piece of advice I give, and it's the one that makes the biggest difference.
Mingling is lovely, and of course it’s important. Circulating, catching up with people you haven't seen in years - that's part of what a wedding is. But it's very easy to spend chunks of your day on opposite sides of the room from each other.
Don't let that happen.
Move through the day together as much as you can
When you're pulled in different directions, find your way back
The moments between the two of you - the glances, the touches, the in-between bits - are what I'm watching for as your photographer.
The couples who stay connected throughout the day don't just have a better experience. Their photos reflect it.
Let go of the photos (yes, really!)
I know that might sound strange coming from a wedding photographer. But one of the most freeing things you can do on your wedding day is to stop thinking about the photos.
Not because they don't matter - but because they do. While having your photos taken is always going to make you feel odd/awkward/self-conscious initially - you will become immune to me and my camera quicker than you think. I will always do my utmost to put you at ease. A wedding guest said to me last year that I was “present, but not a presence” and I took that as the ultimate feedback and compliment, because that really is what I’m striving for at every single wedding day I have the privilege of capturing.
Trust that I'll be where I need to be. I'm not going to miss what matters. That's my job, and I take it seriously so that you don't have to.
When it comes to couples portraits, the couples who embrace that time - have fun with it, who bring the same energy to it that they've brought to the whole day - will always end up with images that feel like them and a gallery that they love. We’ll take those photos at your pace and give them as much time as you wish. Whether you want them to take no more than 15-20 minutes, or you’d like a few locations and a longer window dedicated to them - I will gently guide that whole process based on what you as a couple want. There is no text book here, your day will be unique and your day will be an expression of you. And dare I say it, you’ll enjoy that time in front of the camera too, because it’s special and surreal in the best possible way, and also one of the only times all day it’ll just be the two of you (and me of course, ha!).
What I'm actually watching for
Storytelling, documentary wedding photography isn't about waiting for the big, obvious moments - though those matter too. It's about noticing everything else.
The way two people look at each other when they think no one's watching. The hand on the small of someone’s back. The fleeting reflection in a window of you or someone you love.
None of that can be directed. It can only be witnessed - and that's where I choose to put my attention.
When you're not worrying about the camera, you create the conditions for those moments to actually happen. And when they happen, I'll be there.
I don’t need you to perform, or remember specific instructions. I just need you to be in your day.
When you receive your wedding gallery from me it will be filled with not just the moments you’re expecting to see, but also a boat load of those that aren’t even on your radar - that you weren’t even aware were happening. Those unexpected moments that are the very fabric of your day, as your photographer that’s where you’ll find me. That for me is the beating heart of how I capture every wedding.
One of the best days of your life - treat it that way
I genuinely believe that your wedding day is going to be one of the best days of your life. I say that to every couple I work with, and I mean it every time.
All you have to do, is allow it to be that.
Not by being passive - by being intentional about where your energy goes. Stay close to your partner. Let the weather do what it wants. Trust the people around you to handle what they need to handle. And trust me to document it without you having to think about documentation at all.
The couples who come away with the images they love most are the ones who truly submitted to their day. Who were on the dance floor all night, who laughed through the family photos, who were so absorbed in each other and the people around them - that love and connection laced everything. Giving in to the pure joy of your wedding day will give you a gallery of photos you can truly feel, and that will transport you back, forever more.
Ready to talk about your wedding?
If you're planning a wedding in the North East of England, Yorkshire, London, or frankly worldwide (recent weddings I’ve captured have included destination weddings in Barcelona and Gothenburg) and you want a photographer who will document your day in a unique, creative, beautiful and truthful way - I'd love to hear from you.
You can get in touch and find all of my pricing information here.
I can’t wait to chat about your plans!
